Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I understand Curling. That high.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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