There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
