I puked a lego.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
