The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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