Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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