one might say we're banned from that church
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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