break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
