Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
