dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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