you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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