I am in a vortex of obligation.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.