About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?