'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize