He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
whose ass print is on the piano?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
