I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
