so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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