you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
