i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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