We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
