I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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