Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
