He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
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We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
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Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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