just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize