So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize