We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
