I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
