Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize