I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
