Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
