why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
