I got her a Nickelback box set.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just forgot I was standing up.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
