PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Come see our sink grown plant.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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