How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
