he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
