I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
