I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age