evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me