I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.