At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.