Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
