Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
