It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
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Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
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you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?