you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
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I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.