Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
