Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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