Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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