dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
