I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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