so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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