This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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