Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
