you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
