She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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