summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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