How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
