I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
