May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
do nipples grow back?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
