so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
