Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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