i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
