Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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