i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
