There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
