is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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