none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
