dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
