The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
