If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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