my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
