Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Randomize
